Beards on Trial – Is the Toilet Comparison Fair?

Bubba Stacy
6 minute read

Is Your Beard Really As Dirty As An Airport Toilet?

Let’s find out…

In 2015, you might remember our beards were compared to being as INFECTED and toxic as a public toilet.

Remember how we felt?



Who was responsible for writing these articles?

Here’s what happened if you were living under a rock:

Bearded folk around the world cringed at rather unpleasant accusations about beard health in 2015. Basically a rash of articles accused men of having beards which were as infected with bacteria and toxins as the local airport bathroom. I’m not kidding.

Did I mention the word poop came up, and everyone lost their minds? Well they did.

All of a sudden, our beards were putting girls off instead of the other way around!

Listen—If you’ve had a beard for a long time, you know keeping the scruff clean is a continuous task. Through no fault of you or me, our habits dictate a variety of bits and pieces find their way into your face forest! Dust and grime from outside don’t help either.


So do beards really compare to the floor of a public restroom?

Some of the biggest websites on the net, such as Mashable and Buzzfeed, did their thing to attract millions of page views.

The reaction?

A collective gasp by mostly people with hipster friends! Then microbiologists stepped in to deliver good news.

The Truth Comes Out

Here’s what we found in our studying of this issue:  

In a nutshell, beards contain many types of bacteria. Good and not-so-good bacteria live on our faces. They live on every other part of our bodies as well.  That’s just a fact. It’s nothing scary or bad. It’s just the truth.

The bacteria everyone went crazy about is found in the intestines; thus the connection to the nasty. It’s also on your keyboard. And on cheese. Whether you’re bearded or not! That’s also a fact (we’re talking to you here BuzzFeed).

While I disagreed with the accusations my face and your face contain poop, there was something which caught my attention:

Beards trap dirt and grease - it’s impossible for them not to, so they need extra attention to remain clean.

Think of your beard as a net.

Once something enters and the hairs become more tangled, the chances of it falling out on its own are low.

Plus, wiry hair, in particular, does a good job of trapping foreign objects.

Avoid A Retrial

You wash your beard every day when you take a shower or clean your face, but you need to go further.


What’s the solution?

Well, we found you can easily and quickly loosen stubborn particles by using a boar bristle hair brush. Sounds fancy! And expensive!

Allow me to explain…

The bristles work well because they carry moisture from the hair, and they spread it as you brush. That’s why people have used the boar bristle brush since the 1800s to condition and promote healthy hair. It’s just common sense.

If your beard is too wiry, though, using a brush won’t work well, so you need to soften the hair.

Here’s how you would do that…

Use a wash as part of your beard care routine instead of regular shampoo or soap.

What’s the issue with using regular shampoo or soap?

Well, These more common products can totally dry out hair, leading to bear itch, acne, and dandruff. Not good for your beard, or your dating life. Or your future attractive self.

That’s why we’ve gone ahead and solved this issue for you. You can thank us later.

We’ve developed Wild Willies' beard wash, which contains Vitamin E, Peppermint, Eucalyptus, and Lemongrass. You might not able to spell all of those words, but the fact is, it’s organic, handmade and the cleaning and moisturizing effects are impressive.

That’s basically all you need to know or should care about.

The bottom line? You’ll have a healthy and clean beard, and the refreshing, energizing sensation will make you feel like you spent a week down in your Man Cave. 

[ Side Note:  Just think of how great it feels when you slap on some Gold Bond and you'll get the picture of the tingly sensation Wild Willies beard wash will bring to your face. ]

If you are so inclined (and, why not?) you can then take beard softening to a whole new level with Wild Willies' beard rinse, a conditioner containing Aloe Vera, Castor oil, and other great essential oils.

Here’s how to use it:

Massage it into your beard after shampooing with the wash. It will replenish moisture and hydrate the skin.

Above all, it will give your hair an amazing, soft texture.

How often you wash and condition depends on the individual. Notice when your beard becomes dry or greasy, and how conditions around you affect your Man Forest..

Your lifestyle will determine washing and conditioning needs. Then use a good comb or brush to keep it tidy and tangle-free.

Round off your treatment with daily application of your favorite beard oil. Regular use of oils is an excellent way to moisturize and soften your hair, and there are loads of other benefits too.

Enjoy The Victory

Listen up: You don’t need science to tell you your beard needs special treatment to keep it strong and healthy. And you don’t need to worry about unfounded marketing claims about beard cleanliness, no matter how viral they are.

Here’s your daily remedy: Follow a good beard care routine, and you’ll prove to the naysayers how awesome beards are.

When you’re confident with your facial hair, you can focus on what matters the most - your special someone, your career, your life.

You won’t be paranoid about what may or may not be in your beard. Just follow the instructions, and get on this:

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